Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
