you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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