I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
