Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
