I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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