Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
