Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
