She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
