Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
