i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
