Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
