You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
