Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
