I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
