Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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