well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
