you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
