I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
