Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
