I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
