i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
