What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
me + whiskey = a bad person
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
