The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
