so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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