Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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