we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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