I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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