Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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