so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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