she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
