OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
