Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
