I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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