I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
