For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Your penis caused this!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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