I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
