I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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