and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
