AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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