We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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