guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
