You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
