I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
