erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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