hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
