my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
