Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
