Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
