I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
