Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Four minutes until I can fart!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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