Already got asked if we're dating
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
