I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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